What Really Happened When Mary Met Dickon
by PrincessofDucttapeland
Summary: The second in my what really happened series. Dickon has some issues with reality, and Mary is a bit socially awkward. And Martha? She has to fight off evil beings from other planets, all while keeping track of Mary!


What REALLY Happened

When Mary Met Dickon

Mary Lennox had arrived at Misslethwaite the night before. That morning she had been spoken to in a strange language by a strange servant named Martha. She had gone outside to see what she could find. Her search resulted in a freaky bird that would not leave her alone. The next thing she found was a strange, grumpy, white-haired old man tending a dead garden in the cold. Weatherstaff, he had called himself. As she wandered about the brown, cold grounds, she came upon a strange sight. It was a boy, only a few years older than Mary herself, dressed in tattered, worn clothing, using a stick a head taller than himself to wave as a conductor's wand, muttering strange things.

Dickon, believing he was an evil wizard from another dimension, was trying to get back to his homeworld. A small, ugly girl, shivering with cold in the fifty-four degree Fahrenheit weather, was watching him attempt perform his dimension jump. He turned to her and glared menacingly, but she did not back away screaming as he had hoped.

"Are you my Uncle Archie?" the strange human girl asked. Dickon realized she had a strange accent, and decided he hated her.

"Do I look like a depressed, annoying, half-crippled, schizophrenic, obsessed-with-his-dead-wife, incompetent, annoying old man?" Dickon asked.

Mary raised her hand.

"Um, yes, the skinny, short girl?" Dickon said, calling on her.

"Is the answer, 'yes?'" she asked.

"Wrong! You are utterly, completely, and totally wrong! I am Dickon, the master of time and space, great wizard-king of another galaxy."

Mary raised her hand again.

"Um… I think I'll call on… You, short one that I still don't know the name of?" Dickon called on her again.

"What's a galaxy? And my name is Mary." She said.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Mary. A galaxy is a bunch of stars and space and stuff. I hate you. Go away, I need to perform my dimension jump," Dickon snapped.

"Is that your annoying bird that I've been throwing rocks at in attempts to scare him away?" Mary asked, coming over to hug Dickon. He made a face and tried to pull away, levering her back with his stick.

"Yes. He is instructed to attack and bother all stupid people who would get in my way. He is actually my royal adviser under an enchantment. Go away or I'll send him after you," Dickon said, turning away and again raising his stick.

"Could I work under you, as an apprentice wizard?" Mary asked.

"No! Girls can't be wizards! Only guys can be wizards. So there!" he stuck his tongue out at her and tried to summon his Chief of Transportation Between Galaxies.

"Look! A pony!" Mary cried, seeing the Chief of Transportation Between Galaxies. "What are girl wizards called?"

"I call them creepy! Why are you still here? Am I going to have to summon my royal adviser again?" Dickon threatened.

"I like you, Mr. Wizard-king! Can we play again tomorrow?" Mary asked.

"No! Tomorrow I have to get my Fox of Evil to pick the lock on the door to the bank so I can steal all the money and get the supplies needed to make my time/space machine. I won't have time to be bothered by you," Dickon said, pushing her away with his stick.

"You're my best friend!" Mary said, jumping to hug him.

"Mary! Time for lunch!" Martha called from the front steps.

"Curses! The evil enchantress of cleaning has found me again! She's been trying to ruin my plans to conquer this accursed planet ever since I arrived!" Dickon dropped onto his stomach to hide and whistled for his bird. The bird flew at Martha, who batted it away with a cleaning rag.

"Goodbye, Wizard-king!" Mary said, skipping off in Martha's direction.

"Imbecilic child! I hope she doesn't return!" Dickon muttered as he stood and brushed himself off. Little did he know that Mary Lennox was about to become a large part of his life.

A/N: Might write more if you really want it. I was in the play, the same one that was on Broadway, with my school. I was Ayah. It was fun. This, however, is what happens when I'm up too late and the play is on my mind.


End file.
